Mediterranean Cycopaths

Any Given Sun Day

30th April 2007 

The Adriatic coastline of Montenegro and Croatia has provided us with some of the most picturesque and enjoyable cycling of the trip so far. Far more important than that, however, it has provided us with the perfect opportunity to rest, relax and re-callibrate our mindset to Euro-holiday mode.  Ulcinj, Budva and Kotor (Montenegro) and Dubrovnik, Makarska, Bol, Hvar, Trogir (Croatia): Brilliant weather, delicious food and beautiful old towns in idyllic seaside settings, one and all.

Our leisure options for each day were remarkably similar in each place, so much so that I was reminded of the ‘Choose Your Own Adventure‘ novels that I used to read over and over again as a kid… so I now present to you a Team Cycopath Adriatic version:

  1. You wake up with a slight hangover and get out of bed to have a quick shower. Sean wants you to ‘scramble’ up a nearby hill with him – Do you A) Go with him (proceed to #2); or B) Go for a swim off the walls of the old town (#3)?
  2. Grab your camera and put on your walking shoes! Take in the magnificent views from up the hill while Sean educates you on the architectural and cultural significance of the area. You’re a bit tired now though. Do you A) Go to the beach for a sunbake (#4); or B) Go relax at a cafe (#5)?
  3. Dive into the crystal clear water off the old town walls. The waters a bit cold (as you’re constantly reminded by blue haired passers by) but it’s good hydrotherapy for the legs and you splash around for 30 mins before getting out.  You spot Tombsy laying on the beach – Do you A) Go to the beach and join him (#4); or B) Go relax at a cafe (#5)?
  4. You arrive at the beach. Tombsy is lying there, pornstar style, listening to his iPod and wearing nothing but a pair of dark sunglasses and Budgie Smugglers (Speedos).  You reluctantly spread your towel out in the near vicinity and lay down.  Unsurprisingly, it isn’t long before a bronzed man wearing a G-String comes over to chat you both up. Time to move on – Do you A) Seek out some World Cup cricket to watch (#6); or B) Go and catch some Z’s back at the room (#8 )?
  5. As you sit down at the cafe and order a Latte’ you start to feel a little out of place (not sporting a mullet and all!).  Watch the world go by for half an hour anyway.  Now what? Do you A) Seek out some World Cup cricket to watch (#6); or B) Grab some lunch down at the harbour (#7)?
  6. You get to the a pub and receive a blank look from the Bar tender “What’s Cricket”? Do you A) Seek out another venue (#6); or B) Grab some lunch down at the harbour (#7)?
  7. Pick up some prosciutto, cheese, bread and a couple of beers from the mini-mart and head for the harbour. Consume all whilst dangling legs in the water and watching fishermen fold their nets. You try to ignore the 40 American tourists  behind you (all wearing name tags and following a guide holding an umbrella above her head – “oh, look Bob! 10 different flavours of ice-cream!”). Before you know it, 2 hours have passed, time to head back to the room (#8 )
  8. You get back to the room and interrupt an intimate moment between Sean and your elderly female host (“Beautiful boy” she is saying as she kisses him on the forehead). This deeply disturbs you, but you manage to have a quick snooze regardless.  Wake up, jump in the shower and throw on some jeans. Do you A) Liaise with the other boys and have a few drinks on the balcony (#9); or B) Liaise with the other boys and head straight to dinner (#10)?
  9. You grab a beer and sit down on the balcony to watch the sun set across the bay with the boys.  It doesn’t get much better. One or two more drinks each before it’s time to head to dinner (#10).
  10. Head to the seafood restaurant down the road. Peruse the extensive menu, before ignoring it completely and ordering the usual – Tuna pate, Fish Soup and Grilled Calamari. You eat every last crumb and wash it down with a shot of Šljivovica.  There’s still time for a night cap so you all move on to a nearby bar, where the highly recommended ‘Sexy Very Much’ band are playing their covers, before heading home to bed. It’s been a rough day.

Jon

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May 4, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. gourmet – now that you have entered the ‘Euro-holiday’ section of your trip, your daily dashboard needs to answer the question on everyone’s lips – how often does Michael ‘what’s a t-shirt?’ Tombs gratuitously get his gear off?

    Comment by Ben Gilmour | May 8, 2007 | Reply

  2. I think you know the answer to that question Gilmour – with his love for the rays combined with an eagerness to keep the weight down on the bike, I’m not sure if he’s still carrying any shirts.

    Comment by Gourmet | May 12, 2007 | Reply


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